


Lost in transition

by ARMEN15



Category: Bron | Broen | The Bridge
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Prison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-09 19:12:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14721963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ARMEN15/pseuds/ARMEN15
Summary: Set between se 3 and se 4, a look at the two missing years, what happens after the train scene in Saga and Henrik's lifes.





	1. Chapter 1

LOST IN TRANSITION

 

CHAPTER 1 

As usuall, all rights belongs to authors and producers, no copyrights infringement. 

 

The first days of cravings were hard, harder than they both imagined.  
During the attacks Henrik was sweating and shivering at the same time, his stomach clenched and he vomited mainly water and fluids.  
Unable to stay still, he paced around the living area until Saga forced him to lie down on the couch, breathe deeply and drink to compensate loss of liquids.  
Henrik’s appetite changed, too, sometimes hunger took him over and he devoured his plate, then for a day or two he felt nauseated at the mere idea of food.  
Saga controlled he took the pills from the hospital doctor during the worst moments; she knew it was hard for him to overcome his dependence, that he tried to resist for her, it was painful for Saga to see him so unwell.  
Linn suggested Saga a three weeks leave for family reason and then a possible back office assignment; Saga had to accept, it would still be a job and the regular hours in the archive would be useful to help Henrik.  
After Jennifer she had refused to face illnesses and people suffering, never bonding to another person for fear to be hurt again.  
Until he came around and slowly moved under her skin without her opposing.  
When she found Henrik lying motionless on the living room floor she had to force a window open to reach him and search his pulse; the sting of vomit hit her nostrils and she saw the remains of pills in it and some still in the plastic bag on the table.  
The paramedic asked if she was the wife and when she explained Henrik had no relatives they wanted Saga to follow the ambulance to the hospital; she tried to refuse but it was necessary for the admission papers.  
Her experience suggested it was not a first time abuse, the continuous use of sleeping pills and Henrik’s swinging moods during the last few days of the Anker case were proof enough he was relying on pills for a long time.  
She didn’t want to face him, the betrayal was difficult to accept and only a few days after the night at the tracks Saga came to term with her impossibility to abandon Henrik for the time being.  
So Saga spent hours on internet studying a way to help Henrik, called twice Lund to get advices from her friend; in the end she had to admit that for each individual withdrawal symptoms would be different and could also change during the time.  
Too many years depending on his own made cocktail of pills meant it would be difficult for Henrik to get out soon.  
The hospital gave him an address and number for a support group but when Saga once mentioned that possibility Henrik got really angry and refused the topic.  
They argued raising their voices, Saga was tempted to walk away, she reached the door and took her coat from the racket but he went to her, asked forgiveness and pleaded her to stay.  
Henrik wanted to remain clean, swore Saga he’d do everything not to let her down again.  
She did the leap of faith with him, the jump he prevented her at the train tracks; she had nothing to loose now, except him.  
Sometimes in the night she felt him turning in bed over and over and she went closer, putting an arm around him; she knew he needed their physical contact, she could offer him just a little one, hoping that’d be enough.  
It was often a prelude to sex, a kind of sex different from their first vibrant and strong couplings, now there was a need underneath the act that made Saga feel a deeper connection with him, like their minds were joined other than their bodies.  
With his deepest secrets uncovered, he had put all his life in her hands, exposing himself to her like he never did before with another human being.  
She started letting out small pieces of her past, too, especially after sex, when they both felt relaxed and in the mood to talk.  
Time was against them, the investigation on her mother's death was running fast and every day could be the last.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2   
As usual, no copyright infringement

Saga had bought two new toothbrushes, pink for her, blue for him; nothing special, just the practical way to deal with personal hygiene when he stayed the night at her home.  
He cleaned a drawer in his bedroom to let her store a change of underwear and t shirt into, easy solution when the washing up was slow during spring rainy days.  
She had new books and left some on his couch, using his coloured kitchen markers to sign her reading; she already had hundreds of books at her flat, too many to store in that small space.   
He listened to her breath in the night, without the sleeping pills it was hard to have relief; it was normal now to lie almost every night in the same bed, Henrik hoped she stopped pretending it was just for sex.   
Being together was the only way to accept every new day and its demons, worst in the light than in the darkness of the night.   
Being together to save each other.   
The stolen car trace was absolutely useless, every day they read again the case file, every night their brains created theories and suppositions, until heads started aching and just a gaze, just the smallest touch became desire to find solace in each other.   
Alice funeral had been a difficult moment for Henrik and two days after the ceremony Saga approached again the support group idea during dinner.   
“I don't need it!”, was Henrik vehement answer.   
“You're afraid, admit it.”  
“No, I can do it by myself.”  
“It's quite impossible. Here, look, I've printed the reports from national health service. Only 2% of people...”  
“I don't want to read your stats. I've started pills, I can stop them.”  
“You need a professional help. I'm not a doctor. And if I …”  
Saga stopped.  
If she was arrested, sentenced, imprisoned, how could he stay away from his visions?  
“If I'm not here I'm sure you'll start again.”  
“Do you think I'm so weak?”  
“It's not weakness or strength, it's addiction. I've read lots of articles about drug abuse and the help groups are the best way to deal with it.”   
“It's not necessary.”   
“I repeat: you're afraid to face what is hidden beneath the pills.”  
“Nothing, I assure you, I started them to cope with the disappearance.”  
“There must be a reason they went away, you must face it, sooner or later.”   
Henrik turned his back, he did not want to think about his family now, he was becoming sure his girls were buried somewhere in Sweden like Alice had been.  
The illusion to keep the house untouched for six years was fading away, Henrik sobbed and let tears flow freely.   
Saga noticed his distress and went outside on the veranda.  
It was too much to see him crying, like during Alice memorial, when Lilian and Alice's sister, Alexandra, had been seated at Henrik's sides and had hugged and comforted him.   
Lilian was still grieving Hans and she and Henrik supported each other during the whole time.  
Saga and John remained two rows behind, the second funeral in two weeks was too much for Saga.   
She'd preferred to avoid it but Henrik had requested her presence: Alice's mother, Adele, had insisted for a less private funeral than Henrik had wished and he needed Saga by his side.   
Saga noticed the looks of both Adele and Alexandra toward her when Henrik approached outside the church. He had briefly explained his late wife family was well known in town and their social status was something Henrik himself had difficulties to adapt to.   
Henrik had introduced Saga as his partner to Adele and the older woman was not eager to shake Saga's proffered hand.   
Her posture was rigid and she briefly murmured a few words, then started talking with her relatives and ignored the couple.   
In front of the grave Saga had stepped again behind Henrik and had left the graveyard alone while he was still thanking the people who attended.  
That night she had slept in her apartment alone, he called and she only texted she'd see him in the morning.   
Later, he had told her Adele commented harshly about the presence of his current lover to his wife memorial and Lilian took his arm and prompted him to leave.   
Steps approaching made Saga turned; Henrik was leaning on the window frame, eyes still puffy, no more fresh tears.   
“You're right, I'm afraid. I promise I'll think about the group.”   
_________

Saga's birthday arrived in April and he prepared a special dinner for her, bought a cake and added candles on it. It was silly, but he wanted to make the evening a special moment for Saga, one to treasure, not knowing what future would bring. The cravings were less frequent now and Henrik prayed whatever God to help him until he finished cooking, Saga deserved a moment of peace.  
When she arrived home from work Saga was surprised he had remembered the date.  
“Nobody celebrated with me after Jennifer. How do you get the date?   
“I saw it in your file. When Lilian paired us.”   
“Lilian didn’t do that. You asked for it.”  
“True, it was the only way to work with you. I remember the first time I saw you, talking with Martin. I was at an office window, looking at the cloudy sky and saw you two walking in the round court.”  
“Many times we were in your office and I didn’t notice you.”  
“I had a boring case out of town. That day I saw your blond hair blowing in the wind and later Martin told me you were the Swedish cop.”  
“So it was only my hair that captured you?”  
Was she joking a little with him? Henrik was surprised and happy at the same time.  
“No, all of you. Martin trusted a lot your abilities and often talked about you. I become curious. I wanted to meet you.”  
Saga listened to him on her usual high chair, observing the cooking of a pot of curry chicken with rice, one of her favourite dishes.   
He had already offered her books and a small music player with little speakers as presents with a soft kiss on her cheek, so brief she nearly lost trace of it, if only for his shining eyes. She forgave him for the touch, it wasn’t the first and wouldn’t be the last.  
“It’s empty.” Saga pointed at her new technological toy, olive green like her beloved car.  
“I don’t know what kind of music you like.”  
“My mother hated music, she got violent if we listened to the radio or tv. She said music was just an awful noise and she had headaches.”  
Henrik looked around, his old stereo had been unused for a very long time, but his musical collection was quite impressive.   
“I’ve lots of albums in the middle drawer under the window, you can go and see yourself or I can choose a few samples for you and later we transfer what you like in it.”  
Saga knelt on the carpet and took various cd from the drawer, asking Henrik about the singers and random listening them.  
After dinner they started adding files to the music player, with a preference for classic rock and a few famous opera arias; Henrik created a subdirectory called “special car music” just for Saga while driving..   
Something warm spread into her for the attentions she received from him; she knew how much the tried to follow all her rules, respect all her boundaries, in bed and elsewhere.   
Anyway, she was not in a relationship with him, it was only food and sex. She repeated it over and over trying to believe in her denial.   
The nights spent together were nothing, the meals they shared a simply routine, the search of his children a pretence to justify Henrik was her only hope.   
Saga didn’t know the reason, but with him she felt good, every passing day.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3  
As usual, no copyright infringement

Linn summoned Saga in her office.  
Saga looked at the calendar over her desk in the archive, already eight weeks since the night at the train tracks.  
The basement she had to work into was cold, dark and the massive shelves gave her a sensation of claustrophobia, but for Saga still it was work.  
Surveillance asked every time she left the area to control nothing was carried out but Saga didn't care, she still was police, her analytical mind was busy eight hours a day in an effort to find answers to the case left unsolved, to settle them right in the end.  
Saga knew how complicated criminal investigations could be, how busy the prosecutor office was and how few chances she had to escape arrest. Very few.  
Henrik had already asked Linn if there were new evidences and the answer was negative, the investigative unit was going to issue a definitive report and hand it to the prosecutor.  
When Linn offered her a seat Saga sat on the edge.  
“I’ve got something important to tell you. The investigation about your mother is near conclusion.”  
“Are they going to accuse me?”  
“I do not know.”  
“Are they going or not?”  
Saga eyes darted flames.  
Linn bowed her head, she was trying to make it less painful, but Saga was too clever to be tricked by words.  
“Yes, very soon, I am sorry. I have to put you on suspension from now on.”  
“Thank for being honest. I’ll go tell Henrik.”  
“I’m sorry for you both.” 

Henrik saw the change as soon as she opened the front door late in the afternoon.  
No need to ask, sure there were bad news.  
Saga sat on the couch and avoided to interact with him for a while.  
When he proposed to cook something new she vaguely accepted the idea, but Henrik imagined he'd get the same answer should he suggest to eat yesterdays leftovers.  
Henrik forced himself to talk about everyday things, just to avoid the embarrassing silence that was growing each passing minute.  
Saga seemed too calm, he'd pay a million dollars to know what her brain was processing.  
She ate in silence, without a moment of pause between the morsels of food. Like an automatic machine.  
Four forkfuls and a sip of water; again and again until the dish was empty.  
Then she got up and returned to the same spot on the couch staring at a silent tv screen.  
Henrik finished the washing up then went to her, they were used to sit together their shoulders barely touching, watching the evening news.  
“Can I turn the tv on?”  
“It is yours.”  
“Yes but do you want it?” She remained silent.  
“Saga, look at me please.”  
“What do you want?”  
“What's happened today?”  
“I'll be accused formally.”  
Confirmation of his worst suspects made Henrik temple pulse.  
“Can I help you?”  
“You should have let me alone at the train tracks.”  
“No, Saga, don't say that!”  
“Why? Tomorrow I lose my job and soon I’ll lose my freedom.”  
“You're innocent and we know that. We'll prove it.”  
“And if not...”  
“Be positive.”  
“I want to be free! You don’t understand.”  
“I do.”  
“No! It's me not you who will be arrested. What will I do there? It's ten years, Martin got it.”  
Her voice was raising and her head started shaking without control.  
Henrtik was suddenly afraid, unable to cope with her desperation.  
If he tried to hug and comfort her, she'd probably leave and he feared she'd return to the tracks, but seeing her so helpless was breaking his heart.  
She got up and trembled going to the sink, she filled her glass to drink and water spilled on the floor. Henri followed her, leaning on the fires beside Saga.  
She supported herself on the kitchen plan then suddenly turned, facing him.  
“Hug me.”  
It was a command more than a request, but Henrik immediately complied, one arm at her waist the other around her shoulders, hoping to stop her tremors.  
Saga's arms remained still, without reciprocating the hug, and she trusted Henrik enough to close her eyes.  
Henrik lost notion of time, he could remain standing in his kitchen for hours, just to hold her.  
The sound of a passing car made Saga open her eyes and look at Henrik, who feared she'd escape from the embrace.  
Instead of going away, she raised a hand to touch his chest and leaned her head on his shoulder for a little while.  
“Can we have sex?”  
Henrik sighed.  
“Yes, we can.”  
He wasn't in the mood, but couldn’t delude Saga.  
They moved to the bedroom and got undressed; Henrik felt his body was not ready, his mind was a confused mess, images flashed without control under his eyelids, running like a fast train.  
Saga Alice dark stains dead people guns cars paintings children blood floods ...he squeezed his eyes to stop them.  
Saga saw him standing beside the bed, stark naked, unmoving.  
She called his name and he relaxed his face, concentrating on her.  
Her eyes were wide open, her pupils large in the dim light; Henrik read her silent request.  
Don't leave me tonight because I'm afraid to get lost.  
Saga's anxiety shone in her face, her hands gripped the sheets, knuckles white for the effort. But she was silent, impossible to give voice to what she was feeling inside.  
Henrik moved at the foot of the bed and went down on her, his breath warm on her most sensitive places.  
She welcomed his mouth and his fingers, raising her hips, opening herself more.  
He spent an endless time on her, wanting to please her as much as he could; it was for Saga only, to make her relax and forget her fears.  
Saga enjoyed his attentions, but get puzzled when he kept on for a very long time; usually it was foreplay only, this time she doubted his intentions.  
“Are you going to go all the way or not?”  
Henrik lifted his head from her parted tights; her question was made in her neutral way, so typical, sometimes so hard to understand. He went for the truth.  
“I want to please you this way tonight. I assure you'll like it.”  
“Go on.”  
Returning to his task to follow her orders, he breathed her, wanting to drawn into her depths, to abandon all his restrains just for her.  
Soon Saga forgot everything, except what he was doing on her, so intense were the sensations he was making her feel for her pleasure.  
She reached her peak twice, tensing her body the way she liked the most, her fingers in his hair to get him deeper.  
When Saga lied totally spent, Henrik crawled up to his side of the bed and looked at her. She turned to cast a glance at his groin, he was partially hard.  
“Do you want the same? “  
“Not tonight, I just want you here with me.”


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4 

AS USUAL, NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT 

They drove to her apartment early in the morning to pack everything. Saga had already contacted a storage facility in Malmo and booked a slot for her furniture; the moving was due in the afternoon.  
The olive green car was already in a long time parking, Saga’s hands trembled when she put keys and ownership documents in a folder that Henrik stored with those of his own car in the living room closet.  
“Sometimes check on her.”  
“I’ll do.”  
“Start the engine only, see if the lights….”  
“I’ll never drive it, I swear. And you’ll be back soon.”  
“Thanks.”  
The utilities were already off and Saga opened all the windows for light; they started with her books, filling boxes by alphabetical order and writing with a red pencil a number related to a packing list.  
Henrik noticed how Saga took each book and briefly opened it, like to add it to memory and say goodbye.  
Then they emptied the kitchen drawers and shelves, she offered him to take what could be useful and he selected redundant items, just to have something that belonged to her in his own kitchen.  
He could not confess Saga he was terrified for her absence, how he could cope with the loneliness again, now he was used to have her around.  
She opened her closet and filled Henrik's suitcase with her clothes; Henrik saw how few they were and he felt sad, imagining how painful her life had been, how little memories and belongings she had kept for herself.  
When Saga closed the suitcase, not full at its maximum capacity, Henrik stood from the bed and took it from her hands.  
Their fingers touched for an instant and Henrik grabbed her hand, and instinctive reaction that he couldn't stop, didn't want to stop.  
He needed her now on the spot, not caring if the bed was already unmade, if they were pressed for time, if they had no way for a shower after.  
Saga saw his need, his desperation matching an unnamed emotion inside her.  
She let the suitcase fall and pushed Henrik onto the bed, before getting rid of her boots, trousers and underwear. She gave Henrik time to unzip his trousers only then she straddled him, hips grinding, searching friction in a frenzy way.  
He put both hands on her hips and rolled Saga under, knocked off his own boots, lowered trousers and boxers enough to enter her, desperate to connect.  
In five minutes it was over, frantic crazy and steamy, he collapsed on her chest, painting hard, she strangely welcomed his weight and stroked his back, caressing his spine in a way she never did before.  
She was touching him to remember everything of his body for the dark days without him.  
Later that night at his home they joined again, slower, looking at each other the whole time.  
Linn arrested Saga the morning after. 

\--------------

The trial started two months after Saga was arrested.  
Henrik went to the courthouse early in the morning; he knew where accused were introduced into the building and stood close, hoping to see her.  
Two months of hell, being alone again, without contacts, except three times when he took her books, snugs and a bag of clothes and toiletries.  
They were not allowed to be close, a guard receiving from Henrik every item and examining it before giving to Saga in a disposable plastic bag.  
Hentrik saw how Saga hated to see her personal belongings touched by the guard, like the woman hands were on her directly.  
Saga passed a few metres from Henrik, head low, without noticing him.  
He returned upstairs and sat into the court room; she reappeared after a while, this time she scanned around and saw him.  
Her face lighted up, just a little, for Henrik it was enough, he was ready to spend every day of the trial there just to see her again.  
Rasmus played the part of the perfect investigator, he had assisted Linn with Marie Louise all the time and was impressive with the jury in describing the concern Saga's mother showed about the mental problems of her daughter.  
A psychological profile was done on Saga and Henrik had feared the outcome; he had wished Hans would be there, he was the one who surely could explain better than anybody else Saga, having worked with her for such a long time.  
Henrik had been called to witness and his words were swiftly undermined.  
He could not look at Saga when he left the seat and returned to his place, feeling he'd let her down again.  
He had simply told the truth when questioned, what else could he say otherwise?  
The prosecutor was not at ease in contraddicting an investigator, nevertheless she went against Henrik, making his relationship with Saga just a sex affair carefully planned by Saga to entrap Henrik and use him. He played again in his mind his time on the witness seat.  
“Your name and occupation.”  
“Henrik Sabroe, I was a policeman in Denmark.”  
“And now?”  
“I resigned.”  
“Why?”  
“Family reasons.”  
“Please explain.”  
“My wife was found dead after a few years of disappearance and my daughters are still missing.”  
“Your dossier says you've had an overdose recently? Is it true?”  
“Yes. My wife’s body was discovered.”  
“Are you a drug addict?”  
“It’s private.”  
“We are discussing an homicide and you appear to give an alibi to the murderer. It is not private. Are you addicted or not.”  
Henrik refused to answer and his face showed his inner grief.  
The prosecutor passed over.  
“Do you know Saga Noren? For how much time?”  
“We worked together on a case, it was near the end of February..”  
“Shortly before the murder. What's your professional relationship with Saga Noren?”  
“We're work partners.”  
“Do you have a personal one, too?”  
Henrik looked at Saga; she was concentrated on him without moving a muscle.  
He know she'd objected to his next words, but he didn't have another way to describe them.  
“We're lovers.”  
“Where were you the evening Marie Louise Noren was killed?”  
“I was out with a colleague, John Lundquist, and his girlfriend.”  
“Not with your lover?”  
“I called Saga, our calls can be traced.”  
“Was Saga Noren alone?”  
“I don't know.”  
“The evening before the homicide?”  
“Me and Saga were together at her apartment.”  
“The whole evening?”  
Henrik avoided to explain Alice was the one he told his intention to visit Saga; him speaking with an image of his dead wife would not be appreciated by the jury.  
“I arrived around eight o'clock and stayed the night.”  
“Did someone see you?”  
“No.”  
“Marie Luise Noren reported Saga Noren was at her place the same evening around nine and a neighbour saw a blond woman at the stairs.”  
“Lots of people have long blond hair.”  
“And the evening after?”  
“Saga came to my house and we were called for work in the morning.”  
“Anyone saw you?”  
“Her car was parked outside my house on the street.”  
“Your memory seems perfect, are you sure the drugs don't confuse you?”  
“I'm sure.”  
That evening he got himself drunk after a very long time; he woke up the morning after with a bad taste in his mouth and an hangover, ashamed by his behaviour. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and decided to leave every pill for good and to attend the support group  
Saga was sentenced guilty: predictable, all evidences were against her.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

AS USUAL, NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT

Saga entered the prison wardrobe and was ordered to change her clothes with a grey t shirt, cardigan and gym trousers Henrik had already bought for her.  
Her leather trousers and the rest of her daily clothes were stored in a locker room behind the wardrobe. Saga saw her garments disappearing a plastic basket with her name written on a white adhesive tape and she felt she was disappearing, too.  
She was lead to a small office where a middle age man sat behind a glass panel.  
With a monotone voice, he explained the basic rules and schedules of the prison and passed her some papers with practical informations and a checking list.  
“You'll see the nurse in a few days, until then fill this. And add if you're taking some medicine or birth control pills.”  
She read and marked her blood type, added her absence of health issues, allergies or food intolerance.  
Another list was about visitors allowed.  
She stared at the paper completely unsure what to do; never before she had to make such a evaluation of her life.  
She was without relatives now, her paternal grandmother living too far and being too old to reach the prison, not to mention the pain should she suffer knowing where Saga now was.  
Hans was gone, Lilian was friendly but still shocked by his death, Martin was in the same position as Saga.  
There was only a name to consider.  
Saga wrote Henrik Sabroe in the first space and added his phone number as requested, but stopped when she had to qualify him.  
She could not let herself define what they were sharing, giving a name meant to make it real and the last months without him were amplifying her fears.  
“Do you want to sign him for conjugal visits?”  
The man on the other side of the glass questioned Saga when he got the papers back.  
“What do you mean?”  
“If he is your partner you can see him in the private visiting room, with a bed.”  
She asked the visitor list back and added sex partner near the one and only name on it.  
She longed for him and now this fueled more her forced abstinence, such a new experience for Saga since she become sexually active in her teens.  
During arrest and trial she had only herself as a sexual gratification, using her hands and images from memory.  
She tried to remember Klaus, the young blond German she met at 25 during a week on holiday in Greece, the best she had sex with.  
He wasn't handsome but muscular built, with a stamina that assured endurance and long steamy nights.  
Klaus' features always vanished soon, replaced by the brown hair and blue eyes of Henrik, by his strange tenderness whenever they were in bed together.  
The more she tried to forget him, the more he was deep in her brain; she imagined he felt the same for his missing girls, always present, always demanding attention.

\---------

Henrik parked the car and wanted only to go to bed, exhausted and drained of all emotions.  
He's left the same place three hours before, trembling hands fitting his tie knot, mouth thirsty demanding two glass of water, unsure of what to expect.  
There were already five other people in the small room, a dark tapestry in shades of grey and green making the place seem a relict of the past.  
The circle of chairs was in place, two young people were behind it, a middle age woman was hanging her coat and two men talked near the window.  
A door on the wall opposite the entrance opened and a woman went out with a package of water bottles, placing them on a shelf near the window with some plastic glass,.  
She saw Henrik and shook his hand, introducing herself as the moderator for the evening.  
When a short haired girl entered, the moderator addressed the group.  
“Please let's sit down, this evening we welcome a new member, so each of us can introduce the usual way, then he'll do it and he can add a few words if he wants, ok?”  
Every body nodded. Henrik felt observed and focussed on a spot on the wall opposite him.  
“I'm Lisa and I'm an addict.“ The moderator started and the others followed, a series of names and the same declaration of dependence.  
When it was Henrik's turn, he looked around and a fleeting sensation of chill ran through his back. He took a deep breath and made his confession.  
“I'm Henrik and I'm an addict. I've started six years ago. My wife and my two daughters disappeared.”  
In the darkness of his living room Henrik revisited all the evening, the stories heard from the others addicts, his own story, the shame he felt being a policeman using drugs.  
The first time he took them he was already using too many sleeping pills - his doctor prescribed them to give him relief during the endless nights alone – and he couldn't work well in the mornings.  
He needed a way to function during the day and his doctor ordered to cut the night pills. He tried but could not bear the continuous nightmares where the girls were calling him for help.  
Henrik know exactly where drug sellers used to meet customers, it was to easy to hide his face a little and buy those small white candies.  
Soon the morning pills were doing him good, he became more active at work, more skillful, able to endure long nights on a case.  
A week after his loved ones appeared into the house.  
First Alice, lying next to him on the bed; he was at first scared and got up, but she turned to him, her eyes were round and with perfect make up. She wore a silk nightgown and she was young and thin as they first met, before the girls were born and she gained weight.  
The following morning his daughters were sat at the breakfast table.  
He went to work and when in the evening he returned home they were still there.  
No discussions, no complains, no harsh words from Alice, who was always well dressed and polite and casting her perfect brown eyes on him, like when they met and fell in love years before.  
Alice had remained with him for five long years, faithfully, no more strange texts, no more late evening work meetings that made Henrik think about another man.  
And when he found the proofs, a photo and letters hidden into a book in her inner closet, he decided he'd pick up random women and tell her all about them.  
Until Saga entered his life in full force, strong and windy like a spring storm that encircled Henrik completely and made Alice image disappear for ever.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

As usual, no copyright infringements, all rights belong to authors and producers. 

Henrik was admitted to the visiting room and Saga was already there, sat on a small table placed in front of the window.  
He knew a hug was out of question, still he hoped for a contact.   
Her skin was grey, no sun through the bars, no freedom, no good food, no Henrik cooking skills. Her hair were like straws, her eyes had no sparks.  
Saga never used make up and still was handsome and beautiful for him.   
He sat in silence for a while, too many questions running in his head, so he started with a neutral theme, a safe ground.  
“I've gone to the support group. I started two weeks ago.”  
“Good.”  
“I have to tell Lilian, we talked, she wants me back.”  
“Will you?”  
“I've nothing else to do now and I need to earn money.”  
She nodded. He'd insisted for the best layer in Malmo for the trial, offered to pay half of the fee using Alice's life insurance policy.  
“You're good at police, Lilian knows.”  
“I wasn't able to help you.”  
Saga took a small piece of paper from her trousers pocket.  
“A list of things and books I need.”   
Henrik scanned it briefly and nodded.  
“Here is better than arrest. I can see you.”  
“I imagined. The inmates?”  
“I don't interact with them.”  
“I'll return next week or you need these things sooner? I could hand the bag at the entrance.”   
“Next week.”  
He was her only door to the world outside and he was happy she wanted to see him again. He planned to visit every week, if he had the possibility.   
Once Saga asked him if sex with her felt like cheating on Alice. It wasn’t, he had always been faithful to Alice, until she vanished with the girls.  
The same with Saga, he felt committed, although she was blunt in confirming their bond was beyond physical needs.   
Henrik noticed her voice seemed forced, like she lost frequent use of it; he feared loneliness and anger were raging under Saga surface.   
He knew the signs.  
Silence.  
Darting eyes.  
Restlessness.  
Rigid posture.  
She was an open book, his book.  
Seeing her again with no barriers after five months was painful for Henrik; having lost her job was destroying Saga, he could read her face.   
Prison was rough for her, the minimal changes she achieved during the weeks they shared together were gone, she was back the Saga of the first day they met.  
Except they were lovers, had been lovers.   
Saga saw his concern, the wrinkles on his forehead made him appear older.   
She wanted to see him smile, that little caring smile reserved for her only.  
And she wanted him, she noticed the way he scanned the room and saw the bed.  
“I signed you as a sex partner so we can have this room.”  
“Ok.”  
Sex partner was better than nothing, Henrik thought.  
He wasn’t prone to the idea to use the narrow bed, thinking somebody could see them from the camera survelliance, but it seemed the price to pay to touch Saga.  
She was a little unsure, maybe Henrik had changed his mind or find another woman at the club.  
She had too much free time to think about it, trying to figure out her reactions in sharing him.  
Her logical brain had suggested physical gratification was merely mechanic and every man could provide it.  
Her brain had been reduced to silence by the mere sight of Henrik. A raw basic emotion put aside her logic and the idea Henrik could have slept with another woman become a thorn in Saga heart.   
She needed to know if he still desired her.   
Courage never deserted her and she'd always been the leader in bed so she took a deep breath and asked.  
“We have half an hour. Bed or talk?”   
Henrik was fast in answering, his fears put aside: she needed him.  
“Bed.”  
They disrobed quickly, too bright the room, too small the bed, too strong the urge they shared.   
“It has been a long time, “ He confessed, half smiling, “maybe I forgot how...”  
He hadn’t forgotten, nor how to do it neither how good it was with her.   
Addicted to Saga, since their first time, drawn to her like she was to him, the longest relationship of her life.  
He stored the act in his memory to review it later, at home in bed alone, when the desire would be difficult to cope without her real presence. 

__________

 

Linn used her credentials to see Saga in prison, so she could not refuse to meet her former boss. Saga kept her gaze on the wooden table they both were sat at.  
“How are you?”  
“Bad, I’m in prison.”  
“I know. Is there something you need?”   
“Henrik thinks about everything.”  
“I’m glad. Can I help you anyhow?”   
“No.”  
“Do they treat you well?”   
“I stay away as much I can from inmate and guards.”   
“I see. You are police. Inmates often hate us. Be careful.”  
“I was police. I am innocent.”  
“Saga the evidence was against you, we all tried…”  
Linn was lost for words and Saga did not helped her, her silence soon made Linn uncomfortable and she left.   
Linn visit had awakened memories of Saga’s former world, her former self and she retreated more in her loneliness.   
Two days after she refused to see Henrik for the first time after a month.   
Being denied a visit was painful for Henrik because he could only guess the true reason.   
He left the bag of books, sudoku magazine, tampax, at the entrance and turned the car; later, his house seemed more solitary than ever.  
Alice was gone and the girls’ presence only a distant memory.   
Having Saga around was the best way to cope with his loneliness, now Saga was simply another addiction to his list of missing people.  
The support group triggered memories in his mind, flashbacks of Alice and the discussion they had before she went missing, when she asked him to spend more time at home for the girls and for her, telling that he was loosing contact with his family.   
He had to do something, find a way to prove Saga was innocent so she could return to him: back at work he had more possibilities to help her.   
The agent at the entrance desk informed Lilian that Henrik Sabroe asked to see her.   
She gave admission and met Henrik halfway along the floor corridor. A brief hug, some small talk, two lonely souls sharing a common passion for justice.   
They sat in Lilian's office.   
“I'm glad you're here.”   
“I've started support group, since I was called to witness.”   
“That's really a good news.”  
“I have to do it. Not only for me.”  
“I know Henrik, I'm very sorry.”  
“Thanks Lilian, I have to decide about work, if your offer...”  
“The offer is still valid. You know we need to be sure you're free, don't you?  
“Yes, it's logical. I've been off since ..Alice was found.”  
Lilian nodded, remembering the dramatic night before Hans' burial.  
“I've left open for you the option of family leave, we can schedule health tests and internal counselling. Are you ready?”  
“Absolutely!”  
“Welcome back, Henrik, welcome.”  
The tests confirmed no drug was found and the counsellor gave the green light.  
Under a cloudy October sky Henrik Sabroe crossed again across the main entrance of his former office.  
His old desk was waiting for him and he immersed without hesitation into the case Lilian assigned him.   
Shorty before leaving in the afternoon he took off from his pocket a paper with some notes and read them carefully before making a call.  
“John? It's Henrik. I've got something to ask you. It’s important. I've made some theories about Marie Louise Noren and I'd like your help to verify them, see if we can set Saga free.”


End file.
